It’s five years since my last post. I just wasn’t inspired to write, but I’m ready to start again. I still work with veterans, most of which are transitioning from the military to being a civilian. One thing that is still universal is that many of the veterans I meet are not fully prepared for what comes next.

For those who’ve never served, there’s a certain level of institutionalization that comes with serving in the military. You know what’s expected of you, where you need to be, and when. You will almost always get honest/brutal feedback. Every task comes with a continuity binder (instructional guide) with very clear instructions and there is a well-established process for everything.

Too much freedom?

The day you leave the base and hand over your military ID, all of that stops. You’re on your own. There’s no manual for what you need to do and how to do it. For me, my first biggest obstacle was find a job. I was lucky, I had one before I separated from the military.

The day you leave base for the last time and hand over your military ID, all of that stops. You’re on your own. There’s no manual for what you need to do and how to do it. All structure disappears. This is where a lot of people struggle. There’s no routine, technically, you don’t have to do anything or go anywhere if you don’t want to. A lot of people get depressed and struggle with time management.

Unprepared

For me, my first obstacle was to find a job. I was lucky, I had one before I separated from the military. It was a corporate office job, which was FAR removed from my previous job in the military. My first big mistake was when I accepted my position. I accepted the salary without negotiating (something I didn’t know I should do). I had no idea how much money I needed to make. I went off of my base pay, which is the taxable income I made in the military. After a month or two, I realized I couldn’t get by on what I was making. I spent more on childcare and gas than anything else. Thankfully, I had a kind boss, and I explained the situation, and he was able to get me a livable wage, but the issue was, I just didn’t know what I needed. None of this was mentioned in my transition assistance program.

Is it my personality?

The next big hurdle was I simply did not fit in a corporate environment. I had to constantly watch my language (normal people don’t use the f-work as much as I did) and my dark and deadpan sense of human didn’t go over well. I simply did not fit. There was a lot of attention to detail involving numbers and reports. In the military I did ok with this, but it was an engineering company and around this time I learned I had ADHD AND Dyscalculia (a math learning disability). Needless to say, anytime I got something that required transcribing numbers and formulas, I screwed it up every time. I was no help, and the engineers had to redo the work themselves.

Fired

I was out of my depth and there was little to no training. I was honestly just a body at a desk with a weird personality. I didn’t connect with anyone. Then the day came…I was graduating from college that weekend, and it was 12 days before Christmas. My new boss called me into the conference room to speak with HR. I was fired…for the first time ever.

I was relieved, but terrified. I knew I didn’t fit there, but I was scared about how I would pay my bills. Four or five years later I ran into one of my coworkers from that job. He was a brutally honest person, which I appreciated. He told me that I wasn’t great at the job and that I didn’t seem respectful. I was floored; I had NO idea I was perceived that way, which further confirmed that my personality didn’t match corporate America.

I was too green from the military to work in that environment. It was a massive blow, not only did I get fired, but I had no idea that I came off as an asshole.

Unemployment

I spent the next 15 months unemployed. I have never felt so useless in my life. I had all these skills and experience and I worked hard, but I couldn’t get a job anywhere. I couldn’t even get a call back! The toughest part was I had no idea how much the job market had changed and how hard it was to get past the filters most companies used to weed out applications to get an interview. I applied for well over 100 jobs and got five interviews. It was my worst nightmare. I’m not the only one who experienced this. It’s not just transitioning military, it’s just plain hard out there.

Thankfully, this story had a happy ending…..stay tuned!